DSL Collection

Li Zhanyang
My work place is located in Huang Jueping, which is a rurbania area in Chongqing and populated with people of all walks of
life: the wealthy and the poor, teachers and students, and small business vendors. Well, the main stream is the poor.
In recent years, a wave of acquiring religious belief has been spreading through the Academy of Fine Art, and soon outstretched its
influence to the whole county of Huang Jueping with an astonishing speed. Many friends of mine have also tried to persuade me.
According to them, a religious belief could help me free from the temptations of Satan, expiate my sin and sever myself from the
abyss of agony. The persuasions go on and on in meetings with friends, outings, and even in the evening noodle venders. For a long
time I can sense Jesus Christ everywhere, among everyone, and through every kind of expressions. These loyal believers, just like the
underground communist party members before the liberation, are appearing from under to on land, conveying the coming of a bright
future. To my most surprise, Lao Liu (the old man Liu), a full-time porter at the school gate, and a peasant and illiterate, has also
started selling the benefits of religious belief once when I hired him to be my model. He said almost all the people in his hometown
had been believers of Christ and I was quite surprised to know that his copying industry worker cousin Xiao Shen (young man Shen), a
bad guy, was no exception. Sooner or later, all people around me would become the believers I think. They would march to the bright
future with overwhelming force and when the pirate passes me they would sign: ¡°What a pity for you. It¡¯s not your time yet in the
schedule.¡± They think as long as the schedule is ready for me I would go with them. I was attracted by the great force once a while
and had gone to church several times too. I got my impression. In the crowded church people, well, mostly literary young women,
sweated in forehead on hot weathers, and murmured the name of the Lord through the touches of sexy lips, with a sincere attitude no
worse than those red soldiers during the Cultural Revolution time. At the same time, the speech man was telling some Bible stories
with tears and emotional voices, as if on the commission of saving the whole world. I hold no prejudice on Christianity, but I wonder
what the evidence of its unique existence. What are the things unknown to me besides what I know like that Jesus Christ is the son of
virgin Maria and that Christ¡¯s atonement is for the sins of mankind? Their answer is that one must believe the religion first before
he tastes the essence and know more. I am doubtful though. Porter Lao Liu believes in Christ with ultimate sincerity, but he knows
nothing about Bible except several names like Maria and Jesus Christ. Does he understand more than me just because of believing it?
Once a while, I wanted to believe it until the very end just to take the chance to see what the divine light would look like. A girl
received me by ritual. I had felt beauty and holiness at that moment, but I also could not help laughing for it seemed just like
another temptation from Satan. But then I stepped into the church again and she declared with high tone that another artist friend
had joined the religion. I just can not find a persuasive reason for me to believe it. What I suspect is the uniqueness and the truth
about it. They say people can only find happiness though believing in Jesus Christ. Ancient Chinese did not know any about
Christianity until Marco Polo came to China, Had they never been happy and content? I doubt.
Looking at these emerging Christian churches in Huang Jueping, I always feel there is a great difference between the religion itself
and the action of their believing it. Jesus Christ sacrifices himself for the ¡°redemption¡± of human kind, not for the betterment of
himself. To hold the belief in hope of a easier life or remover of difficulties, is no difference with the ancient Chinese¡¯s worship
to the God of wealth for a prosperous new year, the Guanyin for the birth of a son, or the God of guardians for keeping the ghost
away. Although the believers claim a great difference between them, I still doubt. So many people are still fighting and struggling
against each other for land while they believe in the faith. I just can not stop doubting.
One day, Christ will arise from the underground, pull out his cross again and provide me an answer and that will be a day of chaos in
Huang Jueping. Do you think Christ will go to the church? By speaking the same language? I think it¡¯s more possible for him to chat
with an old woman or help an old man carry his load of rice. But in this way he is so much like a living Lei Feng.